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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle

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• (716): View more from New York

  I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.

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