sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ladies don't puke and tell
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.