Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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  (203): Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states. http://tfl.nu/jgy9
  Replies (40) Good night (962) Bad night (2747)
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  (707): View more from California

  i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.

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  (707): i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either. http://tfl.nu/icf7
  Replies (55) Good night (4457) Bad night (529)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

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  (201): Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is. http://tfl.nu/gvpy
  Replies (15) Good night (8256) Bad night (1152)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  His hands were made for my vagina.

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  (405): His hands were made for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/uiyy
  Replies (16) Good night (7428) Bad night (945)
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  (805): View more from California

  i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something

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  (805): i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something http://tfl.nu/ixq2
  Replies (9) Good night (809) Bad night (2639)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.

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  (763): Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/2fqf
  Replies (7) Good night (4443) Bad night (1068)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  ..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making

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  (703): ..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making http://tfl.nu/m2re
  Replies (10) Good night (3445) Bad night (934)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch

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  (419): His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch http://tfl.nu/wbxj
  Replies (13) Good night (4181) Bad night (1499)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.

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  (205): Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/g7ht
  Replies (6) Good night (3544) Bad night (852)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

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  (608): Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship. http://tfl.nu/pyi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1447) Bad night (553)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.

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  (360): Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats. http://tfl.nu/2ns1
  Replies (7) Good night (1510) Bad night (921)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (478) Bad night (4078)
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  (831): View more from California

  She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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  (831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z
  Replies (26) Good night (4882) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1091) Bad night (542)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god

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  (314): Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god http://tfl.nu/tl6y
  Replies (12) Good night (1123) Bad night (361)

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