Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want to walk on stilts...naked

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  (970): I want to walk on stilts...naked http://tfl.nu/tpp3
  Replies (14) Good night (1824) Bad night (469)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"

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  (607): I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy" http://tfl.nu/7l02
  Replies (35) Good night (4449) Bad night (610)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.

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  (720): You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer. http://tfl.nu/ndy8
  Replies (17) Good night (4557) Bad night (991)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs

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  (620): I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs http://tfl.nu/06cn
  Replies (32) Good night (1791) Bad night (3619)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Because we had sex in one.

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  (919): Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory? (1-919): Because we had sex in one. http://tfl.nu/y2am
  Replies (7) Good night (5655) Bad night (911)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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  (703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42
  Replies (3) Good night (1392) Bad night (3754)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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  (719): He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet http://tfl.nu/3sfp
  Replies (7) Good night (2765) Bad night (832)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.

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  (850): HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM. http://tfl.nu/agqo
  Replies (13) Good night (636) Bad night (2236)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.

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  (860): Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall. http://tfl.nu/ht1g
  Replies (4) Good night (1136) Bad night (791)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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  (419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70
  Replies (6) Good night (467) Bad night (1071)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

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  (423): and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that http://tfl.nu/i7hu
  Replies (10) Good night (940) Bad night (618)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.

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  (404): I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers. http://tfl.nu/2ka7
  Replies (1) Good night (1315) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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  (610): You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now. http://tfl.nu/4au1
  Replies (4) Good night (826) Bad night (320)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.

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  (610): Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day. http://tfl.nu/k3zd
  Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  School starts next week

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  (303): Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET. (720): School starts next week http://tfl.nu/1ml3
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (195)

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