I cut my penus on the lid.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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