How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
