Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
bring money and cleavage
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
