Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
