wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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