Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
