Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
