tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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