I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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