You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
