I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
