need another drink. this is the easiest way
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
