the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
