yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
