I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need to sanitize my soul.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
