You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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