Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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