I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
