I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
