tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Screwed.edu
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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