FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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