The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
