We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
