Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
