Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Small penises have feelings too.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?