Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
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is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school