I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
