What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
