ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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