By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
