i don't like sucking hair
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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