I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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