I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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