would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
