i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
