gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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