Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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