I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
