I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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