I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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