You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
