So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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