hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
