I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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