so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
