Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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