Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
