Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
