Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
