video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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