it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
