I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
