I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
