I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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