I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
