Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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