my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to wash the frat house off of me
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
