i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
