We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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